soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
