Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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