The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I smell like Dick and happiness
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
