My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
