is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
