yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
