I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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