There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
