check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
