suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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