well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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