so that wasnt chicken after all
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
