No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
