i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
