I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
