I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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