I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
