I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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