People in love make me want to vomit
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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