I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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