sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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