Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
