Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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