I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
