Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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