just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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