That's when you crack a 10am beer
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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