We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
