I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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