He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
