maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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