Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
