Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
