dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
