My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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