I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
