So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
