It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
