Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
