Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
