do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
love makes seman taste better
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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