piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
