I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
