I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're a waste of cheezeits
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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