So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
