Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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