someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
