Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
