You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
