Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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